Turned 25 - Taking a deep breath

It’s honestly hard to believe it’s already May — and the fact that I turned 25 last month is still sinking in. For weeks leading up to it, I didn’t want my birthday to arrive. I wished for time to slow down, mostly because I didn’t know how I’d feel when it actually hit me. I had my reasons — I knew there would be fewer messages and calls this year, I knew there’d be no surprises (which is fine, but also... not, Idk how to explain). And deep down, it felt like this birthday marked the end of some vague, hopeful chapter — like I had been quietly expecting something to happen before this day arrived, and of course, it didn’t (ouch, I was naive again). Despite having plenty of reasons to feel hopeless on a birthday I was grateful for how it transpired.

Maybe it was a change of wind even for my family, as it had been a tough few months due to Mom not being well. No big celebrations, just a homely vibe with family and few friends living far off, and me enjoying my me time. I visited Dagdusheth Halwai Ganpati Mandir on the b’day with my Mom, she made me sit for a small pooja there, and while I was performing the rites, I felt a sudden tear roll out my eye. I couldn’t stop when I felt that, too overwhelming in ways I can’t explain. Anyways, Moms are too special, everyone knows it but there are some days when you see that moving epitome of selflessness breath and it just hits different.

We returned home and, honestly, it felt like just another day. At one point I even thought going to the office might’ve helped — at least I’d have kept my mind busy. Later that evening, I took my family out for dinner at a nearby 5-star restaurant — something I’d been wanting to do for a while. A small treat for the most special people. After returning, I changed out of my new clothes, shoes, and watch... and realized how much I’d spent on myself this month. I did the math, took a deep gulp, and laughed a little at how I somehow turned into a spendthrift overnight. But also — I could afford it now. And then I watched one of my personal favourite episode of How I Met Your Mother (S8 Ep 20) just to rewatch that one scene (iykyk). I revisit the scene just for the relatability factor. And then the hour hand struck 12 again and with that the day ended.

Checkpoint 25: What I Thought Life Would Be vs. What It Turned Out to Be

After the birthday ended, I found myself sitting with an odd silence — one that made room for reflection. Maybe that’s the thing about turning 25: it doesn’t bring answers, but it nudges you into asking better questions. I wished someone handed me a gift titled Turning 25: An Honest Guide. Alas, it doesn’t come with a manual — but it does come with a magnifying glass. Everything suddenly feels a little more zoomed in, a little more real. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I thought life would look like by now… and what it actually does. Spoiler alert: not the same. And somewhere in that blurry space between expectations and reality, I’ve stumbled upon a few realizations — or at least 2 a.m. thoughts that feel like wisdom.

When I Was 16…

Back when I was 16, 25 felt like a finish line — a point by which I’d have life all figured out. I genuinely believed I’d have my own startup by now, or maybe be leading teams at some big tech company, raking in millions. I thought I’d be living with close friends or my partner — the love of my life, of course — in a cozy apartment where we’d laugh through the nights. I imagined I’d have made my parents so proud that they’d brag about me to every second relative they met. Oh, and I’d definitely own a supercar by now. Yeah, go ahead and laugh. I’m chuckling too.

What It Turned Out to Be…

Now, 25 doesn’t feel like a finish line at all — it feels more like a checkpoint. The kind that reminds you that this isn’t a sprint, it’s a long, winding marathon.

• Careers aren't linear. They’re messy, confusing, often slow — and almost never go the way you planned. But they are malleable. That’s something I’m slowly starting to understand: your work life bends more than you think, if you’re willing to take the reins. Shaping it, one day at a time, is tiring — but also kind of beautiful. I have so much to write about this one, feels like this part can be a separate blog, let’s see. But one thing I want you to takeaway from this would be: take risks. Especially early in life. Don’t wait.
• Relationship? Press skip button. Honestly, it’s one area I’ve lost most hope in. Maybe I’ll laugh at this too someday. Maybe not. Probably not.
• Friendships evolve — and that’s okay. People move away, life gets in the way, priorities shift. Sometimes it’s distance, sometimes just time. Not everyone will put you before themselves. And I’ve come to accept that. It hurts, but it’s also freeing. In the end, it’s just you. That’s not as sad as it sounds — once you understand that, you begin to take care of yourself a little better. Even this can be a separate blog for another day though.
• Money matters. Anyone who says otherwise is either lying or already rich. Don’t take that BS. Money might not buy happiness directly, but it sure buys you the freedom to do the things that bring you joy. It brings comfort, gives you the ability to support your loved ones — to see them smile without having to ask. That brings a kind of quiet pride. (Just be careful not to let it turn into arrogance.) And seriously — why weren’t we taught personal finance in school? Managing money is one of the most important life skills which sadly nobody teaches us.
• Parents are human too. This one hits hard. You grow up thinking they’re invincible, and then one day you notice their tired eyes, their unspoken worries, their health becoming fragile. And you realize the roles are slowly shifting. That you’re no longer the one being cared for — you’re learning to care for them. Maybe that’s the truest sign of “Adulting”.

Still Figuring It Out (and that’s okay)

At 25, I don’t really have all the answers — just better questions . I’m still figuring out what success really looks like for me. Still navigating the middle ground between ambition and peace, between doing more and feeling enough. There are days I want to build empires, and then there are days I just want to sleep without overthinking. There are days when I feel I can do anything and then there are days when self doubt creeps in. On most days, it’s a constant battle between “Am I not good enough?” and “Comeback loading”.

I still don’t know what I want ahead(nobody does tbh, but we can at least try to move in some direction) but I guess I kinda know what I do not want any more of. And some nights I still replay old memories like they’ll tell me something new. But even in all the uncertainty, I’ve come to value the act of trying — of showing up, of quietly keeping the faith. Showing up when it’s messy, showing up when it’s hard, showing up when it’s boring, showing up when I don’t feel like waking up from my bed. It’s the constant will to just show up on worst days which has truly helped me in ways I can’t explain.

But even after a few realisations and reflections, what I do know about life? I’m only grateful. For the few people who stayed. For the conversations that brought comfort. For my younger self who dreamed big, even if he had no clue. For the bad days that taught me I could survive. For the moments I caught myself smiling when no one was watching. For still being curious and trying everyday to be better. Maybe that’s what this phase is — not about having it all figured out, but learning to sit with yourself a little better. Knowing the world won’t always make sense, it’s outright unfair at times, but you can still find meaning in small things and you have to keep showing up. Maybe turning 25 doesn’t change everything. Maybe it changes a lot of things. Who knows.

And maybe — just maybe — that’s the whole point. Maybe it’s just a reminder that -

I have miles to go before I sleep….

That's all for now.